Complaining is almost as popular as football, albeit less exciting national sport . But the complaint, criticism or reproach are unattractive, and those who practice them, too.
Complaining is a passive behavior, sometimes even cowardly. People delight in the review and in the complaint, it is a way to take out the trash from the inside out ... but what do you do with the trash on the table, or handing it to your friends or colleagues? Nothing. most of the time the complaint is not accompanied by solutions, only use to strip you of what makes you feel bad. Complaints abound even when you have reason . Having arguments is no reason to rant. Think about how you usually express your reproaches and criticism, how a smile? No, scowling, raising his voice, making aggressive gestures, even ironic, mocking and humiliating. You want something you fall back aggravating. After a fretful talk, nobody feels good, even if you think you've emptied . Which leaves you it is seeking solutions to what's bothering you, or alternatively, if you do not, move on and close folders. There is a part of life, but also is unfair and do not deserve, you will be playing live. Maintain victimizing behavior based on Lamentations, will only make you lose time and energy, pollute your friends, and you will offside. Because that did not find the solution to your woes. Accept what not up to you, and think in terms of solutions to what you can handle .
To empty the bag of stones there are other, more positive, more or less skillful alternatives to boring you hear:
1. If you just want to let off steam, do it with maturity . Expresses what bothers you, calmly controlling the pitch, loudness and aggressive comments. Say how you feel, not just what causes the trouble . You can even involve the person who listens and advice. It's nice to hear something negative then if you're going to have their views into account. Instead of being a scarf for your tears, will feel important and part of the process in your welfare.
And be open to an opinion or advice is just not the one you wish. That you're wrong does not mean that people have to give the reason. Maybe there another perspective or another approach to help you see things in a less dramatic. Stay with the idea, play with it, transform it and use it with your style.
Two. If you want to have something, or did you give help, not complain, PIDE . It will take before the finish and thus eliminate the handling of the complaint. Nobody will guess what you need, people do not yet have that capability. Even the person who loves you can guess your needs if you do not express.
I'll give you an example, I reach the day of love, and you do not verbalize it you are wanting to celebrate, shop, have a romantic dinner or writing a love note. I'll shut up and interpret your partner should feel the same because he is so in love like you. The day of lovers, and he or she does not have your plans happened, and then you get angry, you complain and reproach. What happened? You have not asked what you wanted. Forget the absurd idea that makes the moment ask miss romance. What is annoying is unromantic and have to argue for not being soothsayers. Look how easy it had been a few days pass before something like "I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day to have a special moment with you, what you like to do?" You would have avoided a silly fight. And this, all other days occur in couples, at work and in all social environments.
Three. If you're craving release adrenaline, tension or emotions that you have to collapse, practice some relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga and if you can, exercise regularly . Sometimes you pick up the phone and without even asking if the timing is right, you start to drop by mouth everything that crosses your mind. You're so angry, you do not have in mind the situation of those who listen, and if he's met or consulting a doctor. You're angry and yell, speak and say "can you believe?'s Incredible!" To unburden you do not need a punching bag as a person .
April. Practice patience with verbal incontinence . because you're angry does not mean you have to verbalize it. Be cautious, restrained, not metered, biding his time. Often complaints are followed by impatience and inappropriate times and places to express them. Relax, give yourself a time and if you still angry after waiting, use any of the above.
Remember. We like people that recharge us up, give us good news, we smile, give encouragement, motivation and insufflated make the time you spend at your side is a little bit of wellness course that social support and friends are essential to help you and to encourage you in the bad times. But not monopolize. That there really people that his speech just revolves around what is not working.